Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Community Card -- Emily Lunday

The woman on this card is Emily Lunday. Of course we called her Mrs. Lunday because she was a teacher and this was 1959. Mrs. Lunday taught Journalism and English at Arlington Heights High School in Fort Worth Texas. I had the privilege of working with her on both our school newspaper, The Jacket Journal, and our new literary magazine, The Jabberwocky. This community suit card catalyzed a significant piece of self-recognition for me recently.

During an Embodied Life retreat in September, we were asked to explore the question: What do I regret?

It turns out that what I really, really regretted was the complete dismissal of my talents as a journalist and writer in high school and beyond. I mean my own dismissal. The full recognition of this self-betrayal was the memory of a scholarship interview with two women from a local journalism sorority. I answered their questions, but toward the end of our time together I said, "You really shouldn't give this scholarship to me. I'm not going to become a real newspaper writer or anything. Give it to ___ (a male competitor from across town)."

This sobering recognition was part of a larger Ah Ha! regarding a deeply buried assumption: my life's role would be through supporting a man rather than through my own expressive energy. Though I would have denied it at the time, the destiny of wife and mother was part of the air I breathed. Pre-Feminine Mystique, I'd just swallowed the cultural modeling whole. With the help of Inner Relationship Focusing, I sensed fully that place of self-abandonment. In my willingness to be there completely, I felt a powerful shift. The words that came were, "I have a voice of my own. I have my own voice." Suddenly I felt like Tracy Turnblad (Hairspray) bopping down the street singing "Good Morning, Baltimore!" You know, happy and confident.

I combined SoulCollage, Embodied Inquiry, and Focusing--magical. I'm wondering what other therapeutic practices go well with SoulCollage.

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