Thursday, February 09, 2006

Food Salvation

I loved Anne Marie's card (see below) about nourishment. I set out to make a card on nourishment for myself. And here it is. After making it, I realized (as is likely to happen if you make a card as intuitively as possible) that this card is about a lot more than nourishing myself. It is about the lifelong belief (ok maybe it didn't start until 6th grade when it was important to have a J. declare his love by giving me a dogcollar to wear around my ankle) that eating the right foods, in the right way will bring salvation. The good life.

Eat right (vegetables, low fat, no sugar) and I'll be able to do handsprings until I'm 90+. That's been the latest permutation. My knees will stay strong. I'll be able to stick to my meditation schedule. And my mother will not have back problems. It all depends on my self-control.

I am the one who goes overboard on one Righteous Eating program after another.
I am the one who loves pictures of vegetables but craves the taste of chocolate. See my hungry self card on show off!
I am the one who worships at the altar of food perfection.

This past month I've read several books by Geneen Roth, who counsels me to eat when I'm are hungry, eat what I want, and stop when my body signals "full". Hmm. I'm trying. It feels weird to be able to actually make oatmeal cookies, I mean a whole batch, for myself, with no guilt. It has been hard to eat when I'm hungry and not because it's lunch time. And am noticing how often I want to celebrate completing a big project by nibbling. Is this new program of mindfull eating just one more way to propitiate the food goddess? Too early to tell.

No comments: